Islands in Double Jeopardy of Flooding

All of the Sand Juan Islands and the adjacent shorelines in America and Canada are in danger of major flooding from a one-two punch of seemingly unstoppable forces, Global Warming and Island Sinking.

Only gas, oil and coal stockholders, along with officials in the Trump administration, deny global warming’s effect on sea levels. As glaciers melt, sea level rises.

All coastal communities are threatened by with new flooding. Our increasing use of fossil fuels creates a seemingly unstoppable force of global warming due to the Greenhouse Effect. As carbon dioxide is emitted from the burning of fossil fuels, reflected solar energy is trapped in the atmosphere just as the glass in greenhouses does.

Methane emitted from grass-munching cows and wood-munching termites exacerbates and accelerates the problem.

Now a new force, as seemingly unstoppable as global warming is putting the San Juan Island further at risk of flooding: Mail-Order Catalogs.

So many mail-order catalogs are piling up in homes and post office trash bins that their combined weight is cause the islands to steadily sink.

“We’re recycling and disposing these mail-order catalogs as fast as we can,” said Pete Schmoe, Director of Recycling and Disposing, “but just can’t keep up.”

The Salish Sea is predicted to rise as much as ten feet by the year 2052 according to scientists at the National Organization of Atmosphere and Health (NOAH. Other scientists at the National Institute of Measuring Things (NIMT) have noted that Orcas Island is sinking at a rate of about four inches per year, so at some point in the not too distant future, Orcas Island will become two islands.

Then, soon, all of the San Juan Island will become interestingly beautiful underwater parks. Jellyfish and Octopi will inhabit drowning forests once in habited by fat squirrels and albino deer. New the end charter boats and helicopters from highlands in America and Canada will bring in tourists with SCUBA gear to explore what was once Moran State Park. (Yes, they’ll probably still need to purchase a Discovery Pass visitor permit.)

Very little can be done to stop this problem other than:

  • Reduce carbon emission from the burning of fossil fuels.

  • Reduce methane emissions from cows’ and termites’ flatulence,

  • Contact the companies who send mail-order catalogs using the toll free number on the back covers.

  • Move inland.

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