Author Archives: Gregory Books

Saxophone Declared National Instrument

Birth of a Beauty.

In a surprise move today, president D. J. Trump has declared the saxophone as America’s National Musical Instrument.  A holdover from the Clinton presidency, the bill sat in a Oval Office file cabinet until an aide for the Trump admisistration found it during a routine cleaning session.… Read the rest

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Bears Sighted in San Juan Islands

Yes its true, several species of bears have been sighted in the San Juan area.  Many prominent scholars, scientists have been called, including contacting the now retired Yogi.… Read the rest

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Trump Resigns

“I’m not really qualified to do this job,” said Donald Trump today. “I’m in way over my head and no one really likes me anymore.”

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PNW Changes into Two New States

Due to political, economic and geographical differences between eastern and western portions of the Pacific Northwest, citizens have decided to rezone the State’s boundaries. No more Oregon, Washington and Northern California. The new eastern state will be called Aridia, and the new western state will be called Ecotopia.

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Bagpipers Anonymous Meeting Notes

“Good Evening. My name is Ian and I’m a Bagpipe Addict.”

(“Hi Ian,” says the Group of about 30.)

“Welcome to this evening’s meeting of Bagpipers Anonymous. “Ailbert, would you please read the Bagpipers’ Pertinent Ideas?”

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FAA Outlaws Levitation

Citing safety concerns, the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) in cooperation with the United States Air Force (USAF), has outlawed all levitation effective 2/1/17.

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Islands in Double Jeopardy of Flooding

All of the Sand Juan Islands and the adjacent shorelines in America and Canada are in danger of major flooding from a one-two punch of seemingly unstoppable forces, Global Warming and Island Sinking.

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