Trump Resigns

“I’m not really qualified to do this job,” said Donald Trump today. “I’m in way over my head and no one really likes me anymore.”

Vice-president Pence also announced his resignation, saying “I’ve done enough damage to our country.”

That leaves Nancy Pelosi in charge of the government until a new election can be organized.

“I have a far better grip on reality than either of them does,” said Ms. Pelosi emphatically. “I understand how government should be run, and how to really serve the American people.”

In a rare move of unity, both the House and Senate warmly welcomed this change.

“Trump is totally out of control and is danger to himself and our country,” said Ms. Pelosi. “Frankly, I think he needs to be euthanized.”

The Secret Service responded by launching an investigation as to whether this constitutes an illegal threat to the President.

As; Trump and his family packed up and left the White House, wild crowds cheered. He is expected to flee the country, probably to France.