Fix-It-Guy Back to Town

Yes, once again the Fix-it Guy is back in town.   Back from his extended vacation to the Bahamas and Cuba, he is back on Orcas blessing us all with his amazing skill.

“Always great to be back here on Orcas. There are so many wonderful people here and there is so much to do,” said the talented part-time resident. Although much older now, looking a bit grizzled, worn and quite tan, he can still offer many services to locals, including:

Reset digital clocks so they don’t blink 12:00 over and over.

Remove scratches from records and CDs.

Change the answering machine to your voice message instead of the mechanical one that came with it.

Match remotes with their main units, and then putting little labels on them.

Clean out the inside of the dishwasher.

Clean out the stove/oven.

Unclog the hair from the sinks and tubs.

Vacuum out the car carpets.

Wash the cars.

Brush the pets.

Replace burned out lights in the refrigerator and oven.

Clean windows.

Untangle VCR and cassette tapes.

Organize the tax files and receipts.

Fill out the tax form.

Change the oil in the vehicles.

Replace the worn out windshield wipers.

Melt the glacier in the freezer.

Remove the creosote from the chimney.

Chop up kindling.

Trim hair, beard, nose hair, etc.

Bikini waxing.

Clean out the boat bilge.

Refill all tires to the proper pressure.

Polish the silverware.

Taking the trash and recycling to the transfer station.

Driving you home from shopping, bars or taverns.

Baby-sitting the kids.

Replace flashlight and watch batteries.

Make the porch light work again.

Refill the bird feeders.

Make the computer run faster.

Eliminate all viruses and malware from the computer.

Refill the oil lamps and check their wicks.

Dust the cabinets and nick-nacks.

Water the plants.

Check the pH and nutrient level of the gardens.

Sharpen the knives, axes and other hand tools.

Get the chainsaw running again.

Check the break fluid and windshield wiper fluid in the cars.

Clean out the dryer vent hose.

Chop some kindling.

Organize the spice rack.

Polish or clean those smelly shoes.

Flip the bed mattresses.

Fix the dents in the cars.

Sharpen the lawnmower and get it running again.

Clean out the birdbath.

Trim the trees and shrubs.

Tune the guitar, violin, ukulele, piano, etc.

And many other Fix-it jobs.

Just give the Fix-It-Guy a call at 360-555-1212 or email at

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