PNW Changes into Two New States

Due to political, economic and geographical differences between eastern and western portions of the Pacific Northwest, citizens have decided to rezone the State’s boundaries. No more Oregon, Washington and Northern California. The new eastern state will be called Aridia, and the new western state will be called Ecotopia.

The new boundary will follow the crest of the Cascade Mountains from Canada to Northern California.The capital of Ecotopia is Portland, the capital of Aridia is Walla Walla.  Both are approximately in the middle of the new states.Residents of Aridia were at first upset because the Hanford Atomic Reservation is on their side, but residents of Ecotopic countered by noting that Tacoma and Aberdeen are both on their side.  Both sides agreed that this was a fair trade-off.

Aridia has abundant forests, a variety of productive farms and a well organized irrigation system.  Ecotopia also has abundant forests along with many ports.  Both have many fine parks and recreational opportunities.There will be few conflicts with existing state or federal rules and agencies.  The number of federal representatives and senators will remain unchanged.  All BLM, NPS, NFS, SPS, Tribal lands, county parks, etc, will remain unchanged. Zip codes and area codes will also remain unchanged.

Economically, a benefit to each new region is being considered, too.  Toll booths can be put at all border crossings, perhaps a small fee of $2 will be easily handled by travelers.  This will not only enhance revenues to each new state, but also will be used to finance much needed, deluxe rest areas which will include picnic areas, clean restrooms, reasonably priced cafes, quiet churches and discrete strip bars.Politically, the two new states will probably offset each other, so the hassle of voter registration, monitoring the news and perhaps even federal voting may not be necessary.

Each new state will of course be active in their own governments and local regulations.So welcome to the two new states, Ecotopia and Aridia.  It is truly a Brave New World.

 

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