Orcas Deer Now Listed As An Endangered Species

In a rare move, President Trump added a new species to the endangered species list:  The Orcas Deer. Continue reading

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Death Now Illegal in SJ County

The county government has now ruled that death is illegal in San Juan County.

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Major Depression Front and Chaos Wave Hits NW

Climatologists have detected a major depression front has moved into the Pacific NW, along with an accompanying chaos wave. Continue reading

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Nuke from North Korea Destroyed on Way to L.A.

A nuclear missile was destroyed today over a bare stretch of the Pacific Ocean, according to a spokesperson in the U.S. Navy Intelligence Department. Continue reading

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Saxophone Declared National Instrument

In a surprise move today, president Trump has declared ths saxophone as America’s National Musical Instrument.  A holdover from the Clinton presidency, the bill sat in a Oval Office file cabinet until an aide for the Trump admisistration found it during a routine cleaning session. Continue reading

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Bears Sighted in San Juan Islands

Yes its true, several species of bears have been sighted in the San Juan area.  Many prominent scholars, scientists have been called, including contacting the now retired Yogi. Continue reading

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Trump Resigns

“I’m not really qualified to do this job,” said Donald Trump today. “I’m in way over my head and no one really likes me anymore.”

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PNW Changes into Two New States

Due to political, economic and geographical differences between eastern and western portions of the Pacific Northwest, citizens have decided to rezone the State’s boundaries. No more Oregon, Washington and Northern California. The new eastern state will be called Aridia, and the new western state will be called Ecotopia.

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Bagpipers Anonymous Meeting Notes

“Good Evening. My name is Ian and I’m a Bagpipe Addict.”

(“Hi Ian,” says the Group of about 30.)

“Welcome to this evening’s meeting of Bagpipers Anonymous. “Ailbert, would you please read the Bagpipers’ Pertinent Ideas?”

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FAA Outlaws Levitation

Citing safety concerns, the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) in cooperation with the United States Air Force (USAF), has outlawed all levitation effective 2/1/17.

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